Ronald McDonald's tired of grinning

"I'm tired of smiling," confessed Ronald McDonald on Tuesday. "I've been at it for 8 years now! gimme a break!" he growled, visibly upset. The man often seen outside a popular chain of family restaurants that bear his name, explains, "For the first three years, it was fun. Then it got boring. Now it's just plain annoying. " When his heart rate returned to normal, Ronald denied rumors that his impending retirement may not necessarily be voluntary.

"Do you see these pearly whites? They're mine... all mine..." he asserted stoutly before being overcome by a fit of manaical laughter. Once the laughter subsided, however, he acknowledged that his "lower jaw does tend to hurt occasionally", Scottish lilt in place. He continued to maintain that his jaw has no connection with his retirement plans asking, "How long can a guy keep grinning in the hope that some kid, somewhere will smile back?" He later confided another and possibly the most important reason for his proposed retirement- "I miss wearing a kilt."